Cousin Marlee Visits

Cousin Marlee, Aunt Beth and Uncle Dave had a sleepover last night on their way to the zoo today. Marlee is 3 months older than Mia. They had so much fun together! At one point they were kissing each other and I snapped this super cute pic of them. They are just adorable together.

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Reflections from an infertile mind

For those of you who know me, I have always been a very spiritual person, but not always a really religious person. I don't like pushy religious people for the most part. However, today I have a story to tell... (Bear with me Valeri...)

I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately. For so many years I doubted my religion. People would always tell me "He won't send you anything He doesn't think you can handle." You've heard that, right? I would always ask myself, "why? Why is this happening to me? Why does God keep sending me all this pain in my life. Why does motherhood come so easily for some and I can't catch a break?" I doubted God and, yes... even cursed him a little. When you are in the depths of your depression it is hard to see the sun through the clouds. All I could think about was the negative. The fact that everything always seemed to turn out for the worse for me. I was in a sad, dark place and I couldn't for the life of me figure why God would keep putting me through this. I don't care how strong He felt I was, I didn't want any of this. I didn't ask for it so He could just take it back! That's how I felt.

Now that the clouds have cleared, it is His love that has come shining through and that has spoken to me. Quite clearly I might add. Most of you also know the footprints story... "for it was then that I carried you..." It hit me about a week ago that all along I was thinking of this totally wrong. I now think that line of Him not giving you anything He doesn't think you can handle must have been said by someone who doesn't totally understand God. I have come to know, now that the clouds have cleared, that He is always there with you. He doesn't "send" you trials in your life. He is there to help you through them. When times are tough, it isn't because He wants you to learn a lesson or because you need to value things more deeply... He doesn't send these things your way, He walks beside you, and sometimes carries you through them until you can walk on your own. He's there to lean on when you are weak, when life has dealt you a bad set of cards, when things happen that are beyond your control. Even when you are cursing Him, He will still carry you through. That's the beauty of it all.

Infertility hurts. It hurts deeply and unless you have experienced it, you cannot fully understand the hurt that comes with it. It is the same hurt that is experienced with death. Because, in its own way, infertility is the death of an opportunity that you have dreamed of your whole life. And when you find out what you have always dreamed of cannot happen, you go through a period of grief.

I had to finally make the decision of whether I wanted to be pregnant, or if I wanted to be a mom. In my heart I knew that what I really wanted was to be someone's mom. Because of that, we chose adoption.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Yes, I grieved the loss of the emotional and physical feelings that go along with pregnancy, of having a child that looks, talks and acts like you, of people saying "She has your nose". And I still grieve these things today. But looking at my precious daughter and the journey of a lifetime that we experienced on the path to receive her - I wouldn't change for anything. My daughter is the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced, the truest love I have ever known and I wouldn't trade that feeling for anything.

I am hoping today that my story of losing and finding again my faith will help others experiencing this same pain in their lives. Hang in there, stay strong, hold out hope, stay true to your faith even when you have doubt. He will carry you through to your sunny day.

*hugs and kisses to all*

Sara

Giggle Fest

My Mama is so funny!


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Happy 4th of July!

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July. (Dada's favorite holiday!) Ours didn't start off so great but we had a fun time. Mia had tonsillitis and fever on the 3rd so she didn't get to ride in her first parade. Our local FCC group had a float. We were really looking forward to that but the princess wasn't feeling up to it. On the 4th she was feeling better so we walked around town and had a funnel cake. She loved it!!! She also loved the fireworks! A local radio station plays music that goes along with the fireworks and she was dancing to the music and staring at the fireworks. She had a really fun time even though she felt like crap! I am glad she got to have some fun on her first 4th of July as an American Citizen.


She doesn't particularly like to sit in the grass, so I didn't get a smile out of her (plus her throat hurt). This is in the Governor's garden at the capital.














The staredown for more funnel cake!











Here is a video from the fireworks. This is the "one-armed-I'm-tired-but-I-wanna-dance" dance.


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Even though it has nothing to do with Independence Day... Here's a video of Mia standing up. She can get up to about 13 seconds or so and then sits down!




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Just another day

I was so extremely excited when I turned the corner at one of the aisles at T@rget and saw a display of Kai Lan toys!!!!! Hooray! They had 3 of the 4 dolls in the series. We got Giggly Kai-Lan, Silly Kai-Lan, and Sweet Kai-Lan. They didn't have Happy Kai-Lan. The dolls are so adorable and they have plush heads, not the hard plastic heads which is nice! They had other toys too, lego-like play sets, DVD's, books. I was so excited!

Mia wasn't really sure what to think of the doll.

As you can see, she was more interested in her shoes and hair bows!

Well at least she was a little interested...

Realized I hadn't posted a video in a while and that you may be craving one. So here is a video of Mia mashing her peas. I've been trying to let her feed herself more... boy is it hard. she mashes everything. most things she grabs in her fist and mashes them. but her peas... she mashes like this. It was so funny it took me 3 videos and about 30 peas to get a video that I wasn't cracking up laughing through.




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I <3 Faces

I have been watching this blog for a long time now. I love looking through all the photos submitted on people's blogs. The categories never quite fit the pictures I have of Mia so I have never submitted before. But this week there is a "just for fun" category! So this is my submission. I couldn't decide on just one! And since this is "just for fun" I figured it was ok to pick more than one! lol

FCC Event

Mia went to her first FCC event today. It's always so fun to see all the other little girls who have been adopted from China. Mia seemed to have fun. She's always pretty sober around strangers so she kept quiet most of the time. She stayed up past her bedtime to attend and boy did we pay for that when we got home. She was CRABBY! whew! the spicy girl came out! Here are some pics from tonight and some pics from today in the pool. She LOVES the pool!

First Birthday and Baptism

Mia was baptised today on her first birthday. It was a very magical day. The baptism was beautiful and the birthday party... well... it was a mess! holy cow! This girl can tear up some cake! She had it everywhere! Needless to say she went straight from the high chair to the sink (the side with the garbage disposal!!!) and the high chair went outside to be hosed off!

Today I couldn't forget to say a prayer to Mia's birth family. For one year ago they gave her the miracle of life. We couldn't be more thankful to these two people whom we will never know. I hope they know in their hearts that the beautiful child they gave birth to a year ago is so loved and cared for. We will be eternally greatful to them for this amazing little girl.

And to my daughter, Happy First Birthday Baby Girl. I love you like crazy cakes! You are my world and I can't imagine it without you. *kisses*

Mia and her friend Lindley

Dirt is Fun

Mia had a blast helping me plant flowers today. And she only ate a "little" of it...

oopsie! mommy was busy taking pictures... She snuck her little hand in there right as I snapped the pic! Yucky!

My little girl

Mia loves BeechNut Good Evening Veggie Delight Juice. It's like Baby V-8. I put it in a Y-cut bottle for her and she slurps it right down. while humming "mmm-mmm-mmm".

Here is a video of her playing with the bottle. She likes to tease me with holding things over the edge of her high chair tray now. She will get a real serious look on her face, hold it over the edge and look at me, then laugh and either drop it or pull it back onto her tray. Sassy girl!





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Mia will be one-year old in just a week! She's really starting to jabber now. No real words other than "mama" and "dada" (the ones that count) and an occasional "bye-bye" and she will hum a sweet little high-pitched "mm-mmm" for "woof-woof" for the puppy sound when she sees our dogs. She is learning the signs for milk, more, eat, ball, all done, poop (you wanted to know that! I only taught her that because I think it's a cute sign). She claps all the time, especially when you sing the "patty-cake" song. She waves "bye-bye", knows what "up", "no", "puppy" and "baba" (bottle) mean. She knows what it means when you put a little bowl in the microwave (time to eat!). She giggles like crazy when our dogs come around her. She loves it when you sneak up to "get" her. She loves to play peek-a-boo (especially with her blankie). And so many more new things she is learning!


She is such a joy and we are blessed beyond belief to be lucky enough to be her mom and dad. I get choked up to this day thinking about how this little girl came to be a part of our family. I especially think of this as her first birthday approaches. I am hoping that her birthmother knows in her heart that she is safe and that she is loved. Yesterday I sat feeding her a bottle with my cheek pressed against her little head. Brian looked over and asked me what I was doing.... just soaking it all in... and breathing.... finally.

First Haircut

Yesterday... in her funky shades.

Today before the cut with Mommy.

She didn't cry one bit. Just sat there with a look on her face like "Are you about finished?"

Mia with Miss Joannie and her spiffy new "do".

My friend

We went to our friend Lindley's baptism last Sunday. Here are some pictures of the two of them in all their cuteness! Mia will get baptised in the same church on her birthday! June 21st. Which is also Father's Day. What a special day with all that's going on that day!
(Yes she is wearing the same outfit as in the pics from the post before this one... that's because when we got home from Lindley's baptism I took pictures of her in her cute outfit! I had to wait for Lindley's mom to send me these pics because I forgot to take my camera with me... hard to believe, I know!!!)

Today

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present." --Oogway, Kung Fu Panda

Misc...

Today while making breakfast, I cracked two eggs into a pan and they BOTH had double yolks. I broke one of them in one of the eggs. And the third one I cracked into a bowl to make scrambled eggs.... also had a double yolk. Craziness!

Total Cuteness! In her crabby shirt.

Oh my goodness

ok. I know kids need to learn to eat by themselves by practicing... but c'mon. This is no fun. I stripped her down to her diaper, but no one told me I should strip down too! I started with the little dipper spoon and her Stage 3 baby food... she just wanted to dip her fingers into it. So that was quickly taken away.... ugh! So then I gave her diced cooked carrots... and all she wanted to do was mash them in her fingers or drop them down into the seat of her high chair. Let's just say, by the time we were done, I was pretty frustrated and I don't think she got much to eat other than what I spoon fed her before I let her "play". Anyone got any tips here???


I think we need to master the pincer grasp and the hand to mouth transfer before we try this again... She was doing really good eating her cookies and zwieback toast and cheese puffs and is starting to get good at picking up her little gerber puffs and yogurt drops and putting them in her mouth so I thought she could handle this, but no... it was not fun for mommy!


And she insists on dropping everything into the seat of her chair or raising it up above her head to try and put it over the back of her high chair. I don't know why she is doing this but it is really annoying. It wasn't so annoying with the puffs... but it IS with diced cooked carrots! All they do is mush into her seat!


I am scared to try again. I may just spoon feed her until she is 5.

Afterwards we went straight to the bathtub! We now have to bathe her in the bathtub instead of the sink. She has too much energy and leg muscles now to bathe her in the sink. She kept getting into everything around the sink. It was a total pain! So I stuck her little pool in the bathtub. It's perfect! And a lot cheaper than those bathtub things! It was only like $4 at Wal-Mart. It is great when washing her hair. I just lay her back and put her head on the ring part and rinse away. Today she decided she was going to crawl halfway out of it into the tub and splash in the water that was around the little pool. She loves to take baths. I have to take her out because after a while her water gets cold and she starts shivering. But she never wants to get out!

Combing my hairs

Mia is learning so much lately. Today she picked up her comb and started combing her hair!!!! It was so cute. I am just amazed when she does these things out of no where!!!!!



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