Friday, April 27, 2007

14 months LID

Wow. I can't believe it has been 14 months since our LID. That is just crazy. I, for some stupid reason, decided to hop on the RQ site yesterday just to see what what going on with referrals. I should not have done that. Bad Sara! I know better. This is why I don't visit that site!!!!
She has this prediction chart based on referral stats from previous months. It is a best guess estimate of when referrals will come in the future. Well, on that stupid chart, it has us receiving our referral in Jan 2008 (best case) and June 2008 (worst case) but actually it isn't a worst case because it is based on referrals coming out 9 days at a time and the last batch was 2 days worth. So it could actually be later than June 2008. This just sucks ass! I am never going back to that site. I don't know why I torture myself.

I wanted to share some information with everyone that I received at the conference I am at today. I went to a session about speech, language, hearing and attachment issues of internationally adopted children. It was a research study. There is some really interesting information in the handout. The study was on 28 children within 6 months of coming home.

1) One thing I found to be really interesting is that 50% of the children had ear infections and the parents didn't know it. The reason they didn't know is because these children tend to be "silent sufferers". Meaning that because they were in an orphanage and were used to their needs not being met, this pain becomes the norm to them and they don't cry when they are in pain. So PLEASE have your child's ears checked frequently when you get home.

2) Another thing I found interesting was that the more separations a child has experienced, the longer it takes them to attach. Example would be from birthmother, to orphanage, to foster home, to adoptive parents. Some children do not go to foster care so that is one less separation and some go to a "transporter" who transports the child from the native country to the adoptive parents so this is an extra separation.

3) The study found that most children lose their native language within 6 months of being in their new family.

4) Most children totally catch up developmentally within 2-3 years.

5) Some children may appear to be deaf because they have become desensitized to noise around them. Audiological testing can determine hearing ability.

I did not know this but there is an International Adoption Clinic at St. Louis University. They do developmental, communication, social, play, and hearing assessments and intervention, and child and family relationship development. For those of you near St. Louis, here is the contact information: Phone: (314) 977-4128. The director (who I hear speak today) is Dr. Deb Hwa-Froelich, (also a speech pathologist). I spoke with her before the session started and told her we were adopting from China. She was very excited about this. She mentioned during the session that she is a second daughter in her Chinese family. She talked about how she has always known that her older sister is more loved by her parents than she is. She was very interesting to listen to. Check out their web site by clicking the link above.


Ron said...

Thanks for the tips!! I didn't realize that about deafness. It doesn't scare me, I'm an interpreter.

By the way, LOVE the new song you have!!!!!!!

Stacy said...

Congratulations on your 14 month LID-versary!

Great tips! Thanks for sharing.

Jewels of My Heart said...

Hang in there... You are 14 months closer to your baby girl! You've come a long way baby!
God's Speed

Doris & Dan said...

Happy 14!! It sucks that this wait is so long and no guarantees when we will get to the end. Hang in and we will get thru it.

Thx for the tips!

Keep smilin!

Carol said...

Just joined your weight loss blog! This blog is awesome! When I read something on RQ that is too much to take, I just go LA LA LA LA in my head until it goes away!
LID 4/25/06...and yes it's too long!

PromiseKeepersDaughter said...

HAPPY 14th
Thanks for the info. My daughter went through alot of ear problems when she was a baby, so this is good info to have. It makes sence that they would get used to the pain. Sad though.
As far as RQ. I know it is hard to refrain. I hear my concience warning me with a tisk tisk shaking finger.

tracy said...

Happy 14!!

Lisa and Doug said...

Happy 14 months down!

C.J. said...

Congrats on 14 down!

Anonymous said...

Wow! It is great that you have been doing so much research to prepare for your child.

I, do, think, though, that children who have had a positive foster family experience are better prepared to attach to their new families than those who have been in the orphanage the entire time. At least that was our experience. A child who has had a solid attachment at least once already, is emotionally more ready to successfully attach again than a child that has NEVER had the chance to attach deeply to a single individual. Initially the adjustment SEEMS harder for the child who is grieving the loss of someone they had already attached to, but, over the LONG RUN, that child will form more solid subsequent attachments more easily than the child that has never attached before (due to being in an orphanage with an ever changing staff of caregivers. My youngest daughter's orphanage PURPOSELY rotates staff frequently from one area of the orphange to another so that the kids WON'T attach to any one care-giver! That is just so sad and so detrimental. I saw the effects of that in my own daughter --versus the daughter who had come from a foster home and GRIEVED horribly over the loss. The grieving infant attached so much more quickly than the infant who was "easier" to care for and lower maintenance--having been conditioned to accept the emotional neglect of her orphanage.

My personal opinion is that EVERY child adopted in later infancy and beyond is bound to have SOME level of attachment difficulties/ it is a very wise parent who learns all they can about attachment BEFORE their child comes home and continues learning all they can after their child comes home.

I think it is great that you are going to seminars and reading up on attachment issues!