Wednesday, February 18, 2009

This is just depressing

Do you know how depressing it is to know your 7 month old daughter is growing up quickly while you are sitting here helplessly waiting to go get her? How many "firsts" are we missing? They grow so quickly at this age. There are so many things I want to teach her. So many things she is doing that I want to see. So many moments in her precious life that we are missing. I am just so unbelievably sad.
Pretty much everyone I have seen who got their referral the same time as us have their TA. We still do not. Our agency says it is some stupid "new procedure" the CCAA has that is retroactive to Jan 1, 2009. What does this mean? I don't know. All I know is that people who received their referral after us, who would also be past the Jan 1 2009 "procedure" have their TA and we DO NOT! This makes no sense to me. Something is screwy!
Our agency is going to try and contact the CCAA tonight to see what's up. I hope they come up with an answer to this. I am making myself sick worrying about it. If we don't travel by March 15th I am gonna go kung-fu on someone. I may literally go psycho on somone! Ya just don't get between a momma and her baby!
Just give me my baby for goodness sake! She is growing so quickly. It just makes me so unbelievably sad. I am on the verge of breaking down crying at any moment throughout the day. This is so hard. I just want my baby!


Karsynn's Mommy...Sammi said...

We received our referral when our little one was 7 mo. old. She was 9 mo. when we finally got her in our arms. I know exactly how you are feeling right now. The pain of missing something is almost unbearable. Let me assure you though, that there will be so many firsts for you to enjoy when you get her. It's amazing how much she WON'T be doing that they say she is. Karsynn was hardly crawling, had some trouble sitting up steadily, and wasn't quite strong enough to manage her own weight on her little legs. Don't let this get you down. Your little one has no clue that you're even coming to get her, so it will be like starting over in this big, strange world for her. You have been anticipating her for so long, but she truly has no idea about you. She's content in her little world right now. She knows no different. You will be blessed with so many firsts that it will be alarming, to tell you the truth. Enjoy your peace and quite right now, because your world is about to CHANGE, for the good. Blessings. Stay strong. It won't be long now. You're on the downhill slide and we can't wait to watch your journey to that sweet-faced little girl.

MeiLi's Adoption Journey said...

I'm so sorry to hear your TA has not arrived yet. This is excactly how I felt. One delay one more day with out her. This I think is the true hardest part of the wait. I hope they are able to locate your TA, an accelerate everything one they get it.


Briana's Mom said...

I am sorry your TA is not here yet. I can't imagine how frustrating that is for you. I do think you should have it by now though. I hope your agency can figure out what is going on! Keep us posted!

Tracy said...

Well, i am now reading this post after your TA has arrived, but I want you to know that I am sending you a hug anyways - as you have waited long enough to go get your baby!!!!!!! Hopefully you leave for China ASAP now that you have your TA.