Mother Teresa's Letters Revealed

“I am told God lives in me — and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul,” . . . . “I want God with all the power of my soul — and yet between us there is terrible separation.” . . . . “I feel just that terrible pain of loss, of God not wanting me, of God not being God, of God not really existing.” . . . . "I utter words of community prayers -- and try my utmost to get out of every word the sweetness it has to give -- but my prayer of union is not there any longer -- I no longer pray."

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I don't know what everyone else thinks of this, but for me, it gave me a feeling of peace to know that even Mother Teresa doubted her faith at some point in her life. There are just some times when I find it difficult to pray. After so much loss and withholding with no ray of sunshine the face of God fades. I understand Mother Teresa's letters. I am sure it was difficult for her to find the rays of sunshine amidst the poverty surrounding her throughout her life. When you see so much loss and sadness, it is hard to believe there is a reason for it. Everyone tells me God has a reason for everything. Sometimes I just find this hard to believe. And so, it sounds, did Mother Teresa. She continued on through her darkness to bring hope to millions even though she didn't always believe it herself. A saint, some ask? In my eyes? yes.